28 Jan 2015 Leave a comment
19 Jan 2015 Leave a comment
Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day! To celebrate, I thought I would share some of the stops on my trip through the South.
“We were stolen, sold and bought together from the African continent. We got on the slave ships together. We lay back to belly in the holds of the slave ships in each others’ excrement and urine together, sometimes died together, and our lifeless bodies thrown overboard together.
Today, we are standing up together, with faith and even some joy.”
13 Jan 2015 Leave a comment
Coming up with a word for the year feels more organic and modern, but what about the tried and true New Year’s Resolution? I’m not opposed to it, but sometimes it feels like more of an expectation and leads to even more multi-tasking.
Then there’s the wisdom of SARK, my favorite inspirational writer. She recently introduced the concept of “allowing.” Nothing particularly new here, but it’s the idea of letting things be rather than making things happen. You can allow people to have different communication styles, different beliefs, and different ways of interacting with the world without trying to change them in any way. You can even allow people to drive differently than you without getting upset. This can be especially hard if someone just cut you off, but still worth the effort. After all, it keeps you more relaxed, which in the end, makes for a better day, and isn’t that what we’re all striving for?
So I decided to make my new year’s resolution one of allowing. It doesn’t mean I can’t still take action towards my goals, it just means that I stop trying to control the outcomes. Often when you stop trying to control, you find that things flow more smoothly. You can focus more on finding solutions rather than focusing on the problem. For instance, just today, my water was shut off for several hours unexpectedly right when I had a class to get to. My initial response was annoyance and even anger. But when I allowed for the fact that my complex had a job to do, then I could focus more on finding solutions. 1) Use the community bathroom to get ready. 2) Communicate my need for a telephone call rather than a flier in my mailbox when it’s short notice.
Whatever resolution you choose for this new year, consider “allowing” rather than trying to force the changes. You just might be amazed at the results!
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude
toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather
than allowing it to master you.” –Brian Tracy, author of Kiss That Frog!: 12 Great Ways to Turn Negatives into Positives in Your Life and Work
05 Jan 2015 2 Comments
Happy new year dear readers! It’s getting off to a marvelous start, don’t you think? Every year needs a theme to help propel us forward. My friend got me started on this practice of creating a word for the year. I began with possibilities in 2013 and then confidence in 2014. So what’s my word for such a stellar new year such as this?
This could be the most exciting and intimidating word I’ve chosen yet. Nobody likes change. I think it’s part of our defense system as humans. We’re taught to believe change equals something bad, when in reality, it often doesn’t. In fact, by welcoming change, we invite all kinds of unique experiences and opportunities into our lives. When we learn to embrace change without fear, that is when we are most likely to grow, soaring to new heights.
As my husband finishes up his masters program, I can see all kinds of change for us on the horizon. Part of me hesitates, as I sit on my comfortable perch. But being comfortable doesn’t always mean better. And I don’t want to miss out on all life has to offer simply because I’m comfortable where I am. Leaping into the unknown is scary, but it’s the kind of uncertainty that will set you free. Let me offer you an example or two.
My husband and I recently took a road trip to the South. He lived there for three years, but I’d never spent any time there, mostly because I felt it was too different. Given the history of the culture characterized by racial inequality and differing values, I assumed I wouldn’t like it. But I realize now that by not going, I was harboring my own set of prejudices. Defining an entire culture based on one moment in time. And as it turns out, I was missing a lot! I saw a part of the country that was not defined merely by its mistakes but by its ability to claim them and move through them. There is integrity in that and hope. It also made me recognize more clearly the separation that still divides us close to home in the North. I hope we can recognize and own that, too. My husband and I are grateful we live in a time that allows for more differences and hope that trend will continue to grow in the future.
But getting back to the South. That southern hospitality reminds me of the politeness found in Japan. It feels genuine, too. The cuisine blends the comfort food of the past with the modern trends of farm to table and foodie culture. The warm climate, the Spanish moss, the charming squares, historic buildings, and the country/jazz/blues music all found their way into my heart. I was also impressed by the diversity found in major cities like Atlanta and Nashville. We even found a Japanese bakery, which felt like home. Consider me a changed person already, and the year is just getting started!
Now as I sit here typing on my Dell, I face my next big change. A new computer. My first Apple. I haven’t even opened the box, yet. Ha! But you can trust that I will. Because it’s a new year and I’m embracing the change that is all around us. The only constant. I feel myself expanding in every direction. Welcoming all the possibilities with confidence.
In the coming year, how will you embrace change?
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, CHANGING yourself, CHANGING your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.” —Neil Gaiman, author of Stardust and Coraline