I Am Responsible

I’m reading a lot of books these days, trying to stay warm 🙂  One of them is Kiss That Frog: 12 Great Ways to Turn Negatives into Positives in Your Life and Work by Brian Tracy.  He tackles all the layers of self that actually hold us back.  One concept that both intrigues and mystifies me is the idea of taking responsibility for everything that happens in your life.

He challenges you to take any event, especially ones you feel unhappy about, and say to yourself, “I am responsible.”  In doing that, you are less likely to place blame on others, which creates negative energy that just stews inside of you.  You acknowledge that at least some part of you created the situation you’re in.  When you do that, it’s easier to let go and move on.  It’s challenging because who wants to admit they were wrong? But it is also surprisingly freeing.

The part that gets me is that it seems like there are some events in life that are simply out of our control that we did not expect, ask for, or deserve.  How do you take responsibility for those things?  In most cases we can usually admit to being at least 1 or 2 % responsible.  But the point is not to point fingers or place blame, even at yourself.  It’s to take control of your life and move forward.  We can always accept responsibility for how situations make us feel and how we react to them.  And for particularly difficult situations where we don’t feel at all responsible, we can also move forward through forgiveness.

I’ve always wondered how victims of violent crimes for instance have been able to forgive their aggressors.  It seems like forgiving such acts would be letting them off the hook for doing something wrong.  I was blown away when the author talked about how forgiveness is primarily a selfish act.  Meaning, it is something you do for yourself to find peace in a situation so you can move on.  After all, staying angry at someone hurts you more than it hurts them.

It’s amazing the kinds of things we go through in life, each of us living out our own unique story.  Sometimes it takes a lot of courage just to face the day.  But we are no doubt creating our own reality by everything we think, feel, and do.  And if we can manage to break through those barriers from the past that are holding us back, just imagine what we can become.  The very best YOU possible.

“Each day a new world opens itself up to you.  And all the worlds you are…gather into one world called You where You decide what each world and each story and each ending will finally be.”  –Jacqueline Woodson, author of Brown Girl Dreaming

 

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